Drug Addict

Me: Hello, my name is Geoff.

Support Group: Hi Geoff!

Me: I am an addict. I have been a drug abuser for several years now.

Support Group: Tell us about your problem Geoff.

Me: Well, in addition to my affliction with crank, I abuse another drug.

Support Group: What is it?

Me: This...

This is the most powerful drug on the planet; abused by more than a third of Americans every day and I am one of them. Caffeine. Despite my efforts to shake it, I have failed.

But why? Many will argue that caffeine is actually good for you; helping to improve focus, giving you a energy and enhancing performance. True. In moderation it does all of these things, but like other drugs, when done daily, you develop a tolerance. And like other drugs, there are side effects: jitters, elevated heart rates, headaches, sleeplessness, and dehydration to name a few. Caffeine also has an human LD50 value around 3 grams (about the amount in 20 venti Starbucks coffees).

Why would I want to quit caffeine? Therein lies the problem. I don't want to quit caffeine. I've quit soda, nicotine (yes, I smoked...dumbest thing ever), and beer (to some extent). So why not caffeine? I enjoy it. Coffee is my vehicle. Rather than quit, I want to limit my intake so that I can still get that occasional wicked-coffee head rush or that performance boost from my energy drink (the UCI actually regulates caffeine as a stimulant, not that I'm in any danger of being sanctioned). The plan will be to switch to decaf and then go cold-turkey on caffeine's ass once the withdrawal symptoms subside. Sometime after the first of the year I will resolve to be resolute and save the good stuff for when it's needed.