The would be McCaves

"...And often she wishes that, when they were born,

She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn.

And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm. 

And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim. 

And one of them Shadrack. And one of them Blinkey. 

And one of them Stuffy. And one of them Stinkey. 

Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face.

Another one Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face.
And one of them Ziggy. And one Soggy Muff.
One Buffalo Bill. And one Biffalo Buff.
And one of them Sneepy. And one Weepy Weed.
And one Paris Garters. And one Harris Tweed.
And one of them Sir Michael Carmichael Zutt.
And one of them Oliver Boliver Butt.
And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate...
But she didn't do it. And now it's too late."

--Theodor Geisel aka Dr. Seuss

from Too Many Daves

which would be McCave is your favorite?

Guernica

Guernica

Pablo Picasso

ca. 1937

Rants

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

--Iron Mike Tyson

Lunatic, cannibal, and quote machine

Apparently also a devout Muslim

"Three against one, it's not a big surprise...Don't stand on my dog or I cut your head off!"

--World Road Champ Cadel Evans

Perennial whiner and underachiever

See also: Schizophrenic

"The last thing I want to do with my time on the Earth is spend it with annoying people."

--My wife

in reference to Christmas shopping

I tend to agree (in reference to all of the time)

Deep Thoughts

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one do you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.

all by Jack Handey.

DeepThoughtsByJackHandey.com

Apples

"Hey, Thom, Johan, do you like apples?" (LA)

"Yeah, we like apples" (JB)

"How do you like them f*&#@%in' apples?" (LA)

Lance Armstrong to Director Sportif and sponsor

Johan Bruyneel and Thomas Weisel during his ascent

to Sestriere in the 1999 TdF

My two-cents.

Third place in the Tour de France, the greatest bicycle race in the history of the world (and possibly the greatest sporting event as well), could only be disappointing to a 7-time winner. Do I think he could have won? No. Whether he chose not to follow the accelerations of his teammate or he couldn't, he is still the greatest TdF champion ever. Do I think he could have finished second? Yes. If not for the selfish antics of Alberto Contador, perhaps Astana could have swept the entire podium. Can he win next year? Not sure. But whatever his motivation for his comeback, he needs no more ammunition.

Bellum omnium contra omnes

"I show in the first place that the state of men without civil society (which state may be called the state of nature) is nothing but a war of all against all; and that in that war, all have a right to all things"

"When God speaketh to man, it must be either immediately or by mediation of another man, to whom He had formerly spoken by Himself immediately. How God speaketh to a man immediately may be understood by those well enough to whom He hath so spoken; but how the same should be understood by another is hard, if not impossible, to know. For if a man pretend to me that God hath spoken to him supernaturally, and immediately, and I make doubt of it, I cannot easily perceive what argument he can produce to oblige me to believe it."

"This considered, the kingdom of darkness… is nothing else but a confederacy of deceivers that, to obtain dominion over men in this present world, endeavour, by dark and erroneous doctrines, to extinguish in them the light…."

Thomas Hobbes

from Leviathan

ca. 1651

Units

calorie (cal)-the amount of heat required at one atmoshpere to raise one gram of water by one degree Celsius.

Calorie (kcal)-one thousand times the above quantity.

The latter is how your food is represented on nutritional labels.  The average adult requires 2000 Calories per day just to sustain itself.  This is equivalent to the amount of heat required to raise the temperature of a metric ton of water by one degree Celsius.  A seemingly enormous amount until you consider that this is the same energy required to power a 60-Watt light bulb for a day and a half.  Makes you appreciate the efficiency of the human body.

Hiatus

"I was explaining to people the other night, but I might've got it a bit wrong – this is just the end of something for U2....It's no big deal, it's just – we have to go away and ... and dream it all up again."

Bono at the end of the Lovetown Tour, 1989.

The start of a metamorphosis for the band

and what I've been and will be doing for awhile.

Words

Doppelganger--(dŏp'əl-gāng'ər, -gěng'-) n. A ghostly double of a living person, especially one that haunts its fleshly counterpart.

Boomslang--(boom-slahng, -slang) n. a venomous, tree-dwelling snake, Dispholidus typus, of tropical and southern Africa, having black to greenish scales.

Worm-burner--n. A fast-moving ground ball in baseball

Hellbender--n. 1. a large salamander, Cryptobranchus alleganiensis, of rivers and streams in eastern North America, having a flat, stout body and broad head. 2. Informal. a reckless or headstrong person.

Slobber Knocker--n, v. especially in American football, a powerful collision or a match featuring unusual phsyical violence or intense play; (hence) also in other sports, an exciting game; an exciting or emotional event.

Some of my favorites.

Do you think?

"Chemical Ali" sentenced to death again.

Headline as seen on CNN

which begs the questions:

Is this guy already dead or will he be executed twice? and

Why is someone wasting time doling out two

punishments that cannot be carried out?

Doctors say implanting fewer embryos will mean a smaller chance of pregnancy.

Headline as seen on CNN
Really? Doctors said that?

This is why I don't regularly watch the news.

Are you anxious, panicked, depressed, schizophrenic?

Advertisement I saw on the back of a bus

for Mental Health Centers of Charleston.

If someone had one of these problems, don't you think

reading this ad would exacerbate their condition?

Try our fish. It's way better.

Wendy's Billboard.

Way better than what?

Are they not confident enough to say that it's the best?

A Cobra?

Dream if you can a courtyard
An ocean of violets in bloom...

Prince

When Doves Cry

Dream if you can a cobra

A vision of violence in bloom...

What I thought it said.

What? It made sense.

Be a Man

Be a man
We must be swift as the coursing river
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

I'll make a man out of you

from the Disney movie Mulan
Badass of the Disney Princesses

An Irish lullaby

Over In Killarney,
Many years a go,
Me Mither sang a song to me
In tones so sweet and low,

Just a simple little ditty,
In her good ould Irish way,
And I'd give the world if she could sing
That song to me this day.

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Hush now don't you cry!
Too-ra-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-ra-loo-ral, Thats an I-rish lul-la-by

Oft, in dreams I wander
To that cot a gain,
I feel her arms a-hugging me
As when she held me then.

And I hear her voice a hum-min'
To me as in days of yore,
When she used to rock me fast a-sleep
Outside the cabin door.

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral

J.R. Shannon 1914

and to my kids every night.

Major League

Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come. (PC)

You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff. (EH)

Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball. (PC)

You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball? (EH)

Exchange between Pedro Cerano and Eddie Harris
from Major League

Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill.

Up your butt, Jobu.

Eddie Harris to self
from Major League

Atomic Dog

In the forest, in battle, in the midst of arrows, javelins fire
Out on the great sea, at the precipice's edge in the mountains
In sleep, in delirium, in deep trouble
The good deeds a man has done before defend him

J. Robert Oppenheimer quoting

Hindu scripture just prior to

the Trinity Explosion

Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds

J. Robert Oppenheimer quoting

Hindu scripture, The Bhagavad-Gita,

upon witnessing the Trinity Explosion

Surmount

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when the meet with an obstacle. mount to the sky.

The Night Before Christmas